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2007年06月18日
summer cleaning uncovers puerile drivel
the massive home cleansing has turned up a few forgotten gems and even more forgotten turds. here's one in the form of a hand-written journal entry from july 9th, 1999:
"grief transmutes the soul into certain amounts of maturity, wisdom, and aloofness. grief brings about change...nothing allows the soul to sleep and wither or perhaps even die. it's not purely a matter of choosing the lesser evil, but more likely possessing the courage one needs to go on living."
hopefully, i was drunk or immortally high when i wrote this back in the 90's... at least, i would have some excuse or way to salvage my dignity. i guess that i was thinking about the faulkner line, "given a choice between grief and nothing, i'd choose grief."
didn't descartes drink absinthe and trip out the melting wax as he formulated in his emerald saturated mind the workings of cartesian dualism? heh... back then, 8 years ago, i had no notions about figuring out the greater universe, i was mainly concerned with peeling away my self-imposed emotional restraints. well more accurately, i rediscovered my own emotional limitations. i suppose that there was a disconnect between my mind and my heart - a dysfunctional dualism - where they would act in unison, but rarely touch.
Posted by Ben at 2007年06月18日 15:50